Day One: Fighting Time

Today, I only had to stop smoking while using the phone and only smoke one cigarette during work hours. Not too hard, right? Wrong. It was a battle from the get-go. I smoked like regular during the drive to work, thinking the whole time about what I would do once I reached the week I had to stop smoking in the car. Once I got to work, I was fine; my schedule is really cram-packed until mid-morning, and then I get about a 25 minute break. I have stuff to plan for the next round of kids, but that only takes 10-15 minutes, so I'm left with about 10-15 minutes to spare. This seems like a short amount of time to ignore the craving to have a cigarette. However, in the past, I've seized this moment and started the habit of catching a quick smoke, so it seems wrong not to go out to my car with the time I have left. I tried finding things to do, but my mind kept saying, "You still have time for a few puffs." I have to admit, I did cave and go for the cigarette.

I felt bad about it for the rest of the day, so after lunch, I told my colleague about my plan to quit and what I had to cut out this week. I asked her if she would help me find work to do or talk with me during those short breaks so I wouldn't have the spare time nagging at me to be used smoking. She loved the idea and has promised to help all she can. I have also decided to try to write 2 books a week, so that will also be something I can work on during down times to keep me from caving in to the craving.

However, I must give myself props. I did not have a cigarette in the afternoon at work like I usually do and I have not smoked at all while talking on the phone today. I guess that though it seems meager when I write it out like that, it is a start, nevertheless. Better yet, I know I can go all day at work with only one cigarette tomorrow and not smoke while talking on the phone. Resolve is good. Now I just need to steel up my inner bitch, so to speak, and order her to talk louder and with more logic than the lit stick that is my nemesis.