A Lot of Shock, Not Much Awe

So many of my married friends always say things like "Oh, I'm so glad I don't have to be out there, doing that anymore" in response to my comments about my dating experiences. They are right to think that, but I don't think they really realize how shallow and polluted by chlorine the dating pool has become since they were "out there."

I cannot believe the cohones some men have, in terms of how quickly they bring up sex. Some men, apparently think in this day and age, that they deserve it for taking you out or just being nice to you. Standards across the board seem to have been lowered: "I'll put up a picture of me from college and it won't be a big deal when she finds out I'm closer to her dad's age than hers." Or, "I'll demand she take her shoe off and feel my woody under the table at a nice restaurant on the first date because SHE made me get it in the first place" (keep in mind we were just talking; little to NO flirting yet). Or, my favorite, on the second date, "I'll invite her home to meet my dog and then just come out naked. Women can't resist naked men." And there are 10 more stories, just like that for each that I listed.

Really, boys? This is what you've "evolved" into? And the men who claim they're chivalrous, they may open doors and pay checks, but still don't know what really makes a woman happy. I'm tired of keeping such high expectations, refusing to settle, when very few even make the cut for me and then they always seem to disappoint. They are dating someone else they are just as serious with or they decided their gut is telling them that they don't have romantic feelings for you.

To be fair, I have heard from a ton of single men that women seem to be the same in the current dating pool. I've heard stories of women crying on first dates for no reason, getting upset because "the waitress is flirting with you", or assuming that after a first date, it must mean they are getting married and having kids. I feel sorry for anyone who has to date now, and that pity party definitely finds its way into my house at times. However, I'm not one of those crazy girls. I am a bit forward, and not afraid to show who I really am right away--I send myself on the first date, not my "representative" as Chris Rock says--but I guess that is a turn off for most men. They want the demure, coy woman who makes them give chase. Not me. Don't want to be that. Does that mean I am doomed to become the "crazy cat lady"? There are two strays lingering around my door, serenading me nightly. I feel more pursued sincerely by them than I have by men. 

A few married friends have bluntly told me that my expectations are too high. I have a hard time believing that as I've waited for almost 15 years now for "the one" and I really don't want to settle at this point. What would be the point in that? Plus, I see so many women who HAVE found what they want and need, so why shouldn't that be the same for me? And why is it so bad to demand what you need? Men seem to do it freely in terms of what they "need" sexually, so why can't women do the same, just with what they need emotionally or mentally?

I just needed to get another round of frustration out about dating. I feel like I've almost purged most of the lingering ooginess, so I'll repeat again: I am done. Put a fork in me, I'm done. Sianara to seduction. Goodbye to googly-eyes. Au revoir to advancing relationships. Fuck off to flirtation. I'm done. For now.