Sifting for the Source of Senseless Violence: Lack of Sense, Perhaps?

Ever since the shooting at Columbine High School, I have been wanting to write about this subject. People who choose brutal actions against fellow human beings have always fascinated me. Not in the "I want to be like them way," in any stretch of the imagination, but more in the "what makes these people decide that is their best and/or only choice?" I never understood the witch hunt and senseless killings without proof in Salem, at the start of our nation's history. I never understood the kamikazes and their willingness to fly their plane straight into a ship or building during World War II. I never understood Hitler's drive to annihilate the Jews, or the common people of Germany to participate, willingly or silently, in allowing it to continue. I didn't really understand the Saudis who boarded planes, knowing they were going to die just to kill many other Americans at the same time in 2001.

However, the more I've studied these events from history from all different angles and first hand accounts, I have come to realize that there were reasons and motives behind every one of these seemingly senseless acts of violence. Humans are pretty basic, as we have at the core of our brains an animalistic nature: the need to breed, eat, sleep, drink, and survive (fight or flight). But since we have "evolved" our ability to reason beyond animals, you'd think that we would not still feel this need to survive by dominating others; however, it is still there, driving our daily choices, and logic and reason have been forced to sit shotgun. When we feel oppressed or ignored or alienated, it is a small hop to think of revenge or "revolution" against those we see as our oppressors. Instead of looking at ourselves and fixing what we can, we choose to take it out on others who have "caused" our problems. It is easy to do, and all of us do it on a daily basis, but on a much smaller and less violent scale. This is where we have to start shifting our mindsets.

The shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary and the four or five "copycat" shootings that have occurred at schools all across the United States in the past few weeks have really hit home for me. As a teacher, I know I'd take a bullet to defend the lives of my students, but I keep coming back to the fact that we shouldn't have to ever be put in a situation where we would make that choice (in an ideal world, yes, but we make our world, so why not shoot for something better than this?). It is time for us to look at the motives and causes behind these shootings and senseless acts of violence against others that takes shape in many forms: genocide, racism, gangs, "fair" war (where innocent civilians are sought out and targeted because of "suspicion"), etc. And in my opinion, we need to stop blaming things and start looking for the many experiences that shaped these kinds of selfish killers and start mending the problems that are blatant in certain areas that are within our power to effect immediate and positive change.

First, I think that all parents, guardians, grandparents, aunts/uncles, coaches, and adult mentors need to start being more persistent in talking with children on a daily basis. Ask them specific questions about friends and kids in their class. Ask about who they hang out with and what kind of person they are. Ask about bullying and if they have experienced it, seen it, or even done it. By Kindergarten, kids know what a bully is, and will be honest about accidentally being one if you can talk them through it. They need to know this is NOT okay. Ask them how they feel about themselves and why. Ask them what makes them special? Ask them what they don't like about themselves and why and how they want to fix it.

Self esteem should come from doing things well that make you happy or bring success, not put others down in the process. There is no harm that can come from helping a child realize that self esteem comes from within only, and nothing you can do or say from without can really form your own strong self esteem. I only see benefits: they'll choose a partner who treats them with respect and will do the same because they won't tolerate meanness in others, they'll do better in school and a career as they will be seen as honest, trustworthy, and sincere coworkers, and they'll achieve greater heights and success as they won't be worried about what others think.

It is hard to teach kids self esteem, but it has to be clear that it is not gained through putting others down or blaming someone else. I see so many adults who still haven't learned this lesson and it is sad. We have to be firm with ourselves first as parents and adults of the community, and look at how we treat others, making any positive changes as necessary, and then lead by example and word. We need to teach and demonstrate grace and acceptance of others who are different, rather than fear and judgment. What happened to treating others as you want to be treated, adults? What happened to the chain of command that was so revered when I was growing up: talk to the person you have an issue with first, give them time to adjust, and if you're still not satisfied, THEN go up the ladder? All I see lately are parents, other teachers, other adults who bully others with words or actions to get their way and no one seems to want to confront issues head-on--always from the side, which never accomplishes anything and just shows our kids that making a big fuss, being manipulative, and loud will help you get your way.
 
Second, I think this nation has got to recognize that mental illness is real and it takes on many forms. I personally have been diagnosed as Bipolar II, with clinical depression, and I understand how alienated you can feel sometimes and how hard it can be to afford treatment with counselors and medications, even with insurance.  Mental illness seems to scare people, as I still think that we cling to the permeating vision of the "loony bin", such as the one from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey, where people scream and try to jump out of windows, cry all night, or rock violently in a corner. It is not like that at all, except in extreme cases. Some feel like mental illnesses were invented because people need an excuse to be lazy or feel sad or act weird, but if you do any kind of serious research from reputable sources, it will become clear that there are chemical and physical differences in people's brains that can cause depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, ADHD, Aspergers, Autism, emotional disorders, and behavioral disorders, just to mention a few. I urge you to realize that it isn't "all in our heads" or "just a label the doctor gives so he can prescribe medication". It is real and it is scarier for us if we think that the people who love us think we're crazy or don't believe us when we tell them the truth about our condition, the damage it can do to our bodies, relationships, health, and sometimes careers.

I can understand why people can feel that way, though. Look at the money the pharmaceutical companies make: most Americans, whether they admit it or not, are using some sort of prescription drug to help adjust something in their body that isn't working right (diabetes, kidney issues, blood pressure issues, post-partum depression, as well as those listed above). Yes, I do think people rely too much on a pill to fix everything; I was one of those people once. I refused medication for awhile, then tried it, and kind of used it as a crutch. When things got bad, I asked my doctor to up my meds, but I didn't do much work in terms of finding solutions to my issues or stress or ways to calm down before having anxiety attacks or bouts of depression. My psychiatrist also kept recommending drugs and never gave me natural or other suggestions to try. Even later, after I was on medication that worked, I lost my job and couldn't afford my medications for 3 months. I ended up having two major panic attacks, one in the middle of the reception after my sister's wedding. I ended up in the hospital with a horrible tension headache and hyperventilation, not to mention a serious mood crash. That's when I realized that medication does play a significant role in helping me feel better and more like me.

It was also around that time that I realized that mental health requires a multi-prong approach. Medication can help tremendously in situations, but so does regular therapy, a healthy diet with special foods added or deleted to naturally aid in relieving mental issues, and a regular exercise routine to build stamina and endorphins. But this takes money and time, and if you have a full time teaching career like me, my only time is weekends (a lot of businesses are closed) and summers, and my money is scarce (we still aren't paid what we're worth--but that is a whole other rant!). If someone has diabetes, it is fully covered under their health care plan, they can get the time off work paid, and they pay minimum co-pays. However, like in my case, my insurance plan only allows 6 free visits for mental health issues per year and it can only be with one of their doctors. After that, it is full pay, so close to $60-90 a session. I cannot afford this, but need it desperately at times. And intermittent sessions don't work when you are really having issues; it only leaves you unsupervised in your head for too long, causing reality not to be checked and deep, dark rabbit holes to be explored. My medication alone costs $175 a month, even with insurance, because they are all on the "highest tier" for prescriptions.  I am a single teacher with two degrees and insurance; if I can't find affordable help for my mental condition, what are people to do who make even less than me, who have families, and don't have insurance? Why do we make it so hard for people to get the help they are actively seeking? This needs to be changed!

This isn't just an issue for people with mental health conditions; it is an issue for everyone on this planet. We all know someone who is affected by mental health concerns and it is time that we support them and demand more affordable access to these types of services. Plus, we need to start looking at our policy of "Well, they have to do something to harm their own life or the life of someone else before we can admit them to a mental health facility" policy. Even typing it out, it seems to defy logic. Why wait for a tragedy, if every sign is there that this person will makes choices ending in a tragedy? If the system is broken, fix it. Don't just let it remain because "that's how it's always been." The drug and insurance companies want us to stay quiet and complacent, because they make money regardless of whether or not people get better. They are a tough opponent, but our populace still outnumbers them, and as consumers, we do ultimately have the final say!  Fight for others who have trouble fighting for themselves and what we need to just feel like a person on a regular basis, not an alienated crazy person. Support us. Ask us what you can do to help; don't just sit back and judge us. We sow enough self-criticism on our own, trust me!

Third,  there has been a lot of talk about "glorifying the killer" on TV, which causes others to feel that the same thing would be good for them to get the few minutes of fame, infamous or not, before they end their own life. I agree wholeheartedly, but am disappointed at the media, who talks about this in a seemingly serious fashion, but then continue to talk on and on about the killer and what music he listened to, what video games he played, what he drew in class, what movies he watched, etc. Take your own advice, media: stop glorifying them. Instead, glorify the victims. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of awe, honor, and compassion when I heard that Victoria Soto got all of her children in her cupboards in her classroom and met the gunman at the door to her room to tell him that her kids were in the gym and weren't there, only to take a bullet in the chest. What an amazing woman, and every parent, child, sibling, relative, and friend of those children in her classroom have her to honor, remember and live for the rest of their lives. Or the two high school teachers who talked the student into putting the gun down, after he had shot two other kids, but granted, they prevented a far more violent ending. What guts to stand up to a high school student with a gun (whose normal brain is compared to that of an adult on heroine, in terms of the lack of development of the frontal lobe, which is in charge of impulse control and fully understanding long term consequences of their actions.), and talk him down without further incident!!

These teachers and the students who died, helping others, or just scared and in the wrong place at the wrong time are amazing and should have led the coverage on all of these shootings. What happened to true journalism, where the righteous and uplifting story is the one that is told, over "the one that bleeds, is the one that leads" mentality? Where is our integrity? Where is our compassion and empathy? Where is our common sense? We have to make it clear that this is NOT okay, and should celebrate the lives of those innocent people who died for no real reason, rather than describing in detail the killer's actions. Yes, it is natural to seek answers, as I stated above, but that is for experts and dedicated, open-minded people, who realize it has to be many things contributing to this outcome and are willing to put in months of research before making claims. Instead, we allow poorly trained news anchors, who will grasp at anything that might attract ratings or viewers and prepare their shows in less than 24 hours (not a lot of time for research and/or fact-checking), feed our quest for understanding.

Finally, talk about gun control always ramps up like a puppy spotting its owner as soon as another public shooting occurs. Automatic guns, which allow rapid fire and cause more casualties, are an easy target for blame. It is natural to want to talk about guns, as they are the tools that did the damage.  But this is exactly why gun control is my last topic--it isn't really about the guns themselves, but the person controlling it. Plus, you can put laws on any type of gun you want, but if someone is desperate enough to want one, they will find it somewhere on the black market or will resort to more detrimental weapons, like homemade bombs. A person seeking to hurt many others before hurting him or herself doesn't really care what other laws they violate, as long as they fulfill their "mission" or "fate" or "revenge".

Many solutions have been proposed: have teachers trained and carrying guns, ban all automatic weapons, require more training and and test to license before being able to own a gun, and even some that cry for the abolition of the 2nd Amendment altogether. In my humble opinion, none of these solutions will work, for many reasons. One, as a teacher, I will quit before I train and carry a gun. I am there to teach, not to intimidate or protect them from a gunman in a split 5-10 seconds. Plus, I am so damn clumsy, I know I'd end up shooting my own foot. I think that is NOT the answer. Banning weapons just leads to black markets and more creative solutions, which I mentioned before, and more training and testing before getting a license sounds great, but only the good, law-abiding citizens will do that, and they would never use the gun to kill others. The people who would use guns for killing people will skip that bureaucratic bullshit and get their gun without training or testing or registering, if they need to. Plus, even if they took the class and test, we'd be training them how to be better shots when they took out innocent people later. Not good in any scenario.

To ban guns altogether is crazy. Thomas Jefferson made it clear that the 2nd Amendment was not only to give men the right to have arms to hunt, fight wars, and protect their property, but it was also to protect themselves from their government if it ever became a tyranny, with only a few in power, impeding the true workings of a democracy from the people's point of view, so that they could stage a revolution to keep democracy in tact. In this day and age, not too many would disagree that a very few in America hold all of the power and wealth and by allowing them to take our guns, we could be giving ourselves freely over to tyranny. No, banning guns won't work, either. We have to understand that if the person is balanced within himself, even if he encounters difficult situations, he'll have a network of support and strategies to use to get him through, rather than having to resort to picking up a gun at all.

I appreciate anyone who stuck it out through my entire rant on this subject. I feel very passionately and want to do something to help. If you have any suggestions or ideas, please let me know. I'm very interested in hearing how others feel about these subjects and their own opinions. Thanks for listening to mine. ;)