For the Second Time: Productivity=Happiness

I guess I understand now why people sometimes say to me, "Just start it, then you'll be fine. It can't be as bad as you think it is." To normal, productive human beings, this is the logical thing to think; they understand that no project or job is too difficult to tackle if you take it piece by piece and just get to work. However, when depression is riding like a monkey on my back, riling me up into anxiety over how much I have to do and how behind I already am, it is difficult to see anything logically, even if I also logically know it will help me. Strange, eh? Welcome to my world of trying to figure out the workings of my odd brain.

Today, however, I can feel the me inside me that lives without depression and anxiety clawing to get a foothold on the steep path back up out of the abyss. I finally took my own (and other's) advice and convinced myself that grading the giant stack wouldn't be so bad and might actually be accomplishable. Saturday, I started and I am slowly finishing this week and truthfully, though there were moments I wanted to gouge my eyes out from misspellings and missing commas, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was.

Finally, I am beginning to think more like a normal, productive human and logically tackle what I have to do, regardless of how large the idea of it is growing in my head. Being productive does make you happier and now I understand why people always look at me askance, as they are probably thinking, "Why is this so hard? It is a simple concept." Now, I think I am starting to get it, finally.