Lessons Learned in the Emergency Room

If you can't tell by the title, today has not been fun. My day started at the usual time, 5:30 AM, with my usual wonderful wake-up call from my friend and colleague. I got up and started my day: feeding the cats, brushing my teeth, when I felt the evil stomach pains again.

I have had pains ranging from a dull, constant ache to a sharp, stabbing sensation in my right abdomen for about two months now. It seems to get worse when I have a lot of stress and anxiety, as well as when I breathe cold air, or sometimes when I eat. I have been to my regular doctor numerous times and every time I leave with the same pain, still not knowing what is causing it, even after a plethora of tests.

Anyway, after the stomach pains started again this morning, I took a quarter of a pain killer and sat down on the couch for a second to try to relieve the pain. The next thing I knew, it was 8:15 AM and the phone was screaming. My neck was sore and I was confused as hell. It took me a second to realize that I'd accidentally fallen asleep on the couch and was late to work. As I tried to get to the phone, I suddenly felt the sharp pain in my stomach return and I had a hard time standing up.

The secretary from my work was on the phone and she was worried; wondering where I was. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I think I mumbled something like My stomach hurts and I don't think I can walk. I'm going to the ER. I know she asked me if she could call someone to drive me, and in my stupor, I said I'd call my parents, not remembering that mom has a broken leg and dad (at the time) was still in Florida. I muttered something about lesson plans and hung up, feeling like someone was stabbing and twisting me in the side.

At that point, I realized that it was time to go to the ER. My whole hope of going today was to find out (finally!) what is wrong with me and causing this relentless pain. I waited until I felt a bit better and then drove to the ER, full of hope and confidence: these doctors of the Emergency Room would surely work as hard as House does on TV to find out what is wrong with me. Wrong.

No offense to the hospital staff; they were very caring and courteous, but they just did the same tests and said the same things that my regular doctor has been saying for two months: your tests so far look normal, but we won't know what is wrong for sure until you see the gastro-interologist (who, out of 5 offices in in the city could not book me an appointment any earlier than the end of January when I called in late November).

For the five hours I was there, I had an IV jammed into my wrist, my blood taken two times (because my blood "wasn't good enough" the first time; whatever that means!), my urine taken three times, and I had to call for four warm blankets as it was so cold in there! While I didn't learn anything new about what is causing my pain, I did manage to learn a few things--leave it to the teacher to always be learning! :P

First, I learned that it is incredibly difficult to sleep while you are in the Emergency Room; ironic, as you would think that would be the one place you'd need your rest. Second, I learned that in this particular ER, privacy is nothing more than a thin sheet held to the other side by a tiny tie and a shin-high curtain that keeps you and your business from everyone else.

I guess I should be grateful I learned something at least, even if it wasn't even close to what I hoped to figure out. Plus, I did get some more vicadin for the pain, so that is nice, though I'd rather be treating this issue rather than dulling it with pain medication. Oh well, at least I'll get a nice little pain medicine buzz tonight out of all of this. Lesson learned: don't expect House or Dr. Cox from Scrubs to be at your ER. It's not going to happen.