Logging In For Love

Well, I did it. I went ahead and declared that I am unable to meet a man that I am actually compatible with in my regular life when I joined Match.com a few days ago. It has been quite a journey since; I have been "winked" at, sent polite "no way, I'm not interested" notes, and emailed with such banal phrases as "wassup, girl? you hot?"

Needless to say, looking for love online can be very hard on the ego at times. I find myself staring at the "no new emails," "no new interests" boxes and then glancing at how many times my profile has been viewed in the last 3 days: 305. Three-hundred and five people looked at my profile and all but 10 or so said no thanks. I know this is a great process of weeding out men that I wouldn't want anyway, but it still puts a minor dent in my ego.

But being a part of an online matching program has its perks, too. I have found myself looking forward to logging on and seeing who might catch my interest and hoping that there will be a note saying "you've got mail" to borrow a used phrase. It has been awhile since I have really looked forward to something on a regular basis, and Match.com, along with writing this blog and joining Red Room, has helped to fill that void.

A second perk is that even though it started out slow and disappointing, Match has really come through for me, as I have begun chatting with two highly educated and very intriguing men. I am not usually an "online" person, but over the past week, I have logged close to 21 hours on the computer. I was very skeptical about Match at first: How do I know that person is who they say they are? How do I know they aren't just trying to set me up to rape and murder me? (Well, that might be a bit dramatic, but it is still something to keep in the back of my mind...I'm in the process of researching free background check websites right now).

But, seriously, as I got the chance to converse with men I was actually interested in and who seem interested in me, I realized that you can form a kind of connection online. It is not nearly as good as a face to face connection, but it can still allow for an exchange of ideas and feelings that are honest and real. It suddenly made sense to me that the way you can tell when someone is being fake when they are talking to you in person is similar to the way you can tell if they are being fake online. Overused phrases, cliches, and being too quick to jump to sex are all great signs that something is different between what we are looking for.

So far, I haven't seen any of these classic signs from the two guys I am talking back and forth with, so that is a good sign. I am looking forward to finally hearing their voices and then, ultimately, seeing them in person. I feel kind of like a high-schooler again, waiting for the boy I like to call, but in a way, it is a great kind of feeling that I am not willing to part with, even if it makes me feel a bit juvenile again sometimes. :)